Heather Mallick admits she writes for obnoxious, mumbly weirdoes

You may think I’m overstating things with that title, but check out what she wrote about the “Don’t tase me” guy in her column (emphases mine):

After the incident became public, there was a wave of blaming the victim. Meyer was loud and obnoxious, and deserved what he got… As anyone who gives and attends public lectures knows, there are always audience members at Question Time who hog the microphone, who don’t ask a question but deliver a statement of their own beliefs at great length, who mumble and miss the point. This is a given at public events. When it happens, I remain polite and answer as best I can.

I don’t have the man electrically shocked, mainly because this is the type of person most likely to buy my book at the end of the reading. But also, it’s just not done, in the same way that one does not use the same toothpick to repeatedly dip one’s shrimp in communal sauce; it’s not hygienic. It may be thrifty, it may even be harmless, but it is beyond the pale.

So there you have it, the type of people who buy her books are those who deliver rambling commentaries about secret societies during the question and answer portion of a lecture. The “unmedicated conspiracy theory nutjob” is a pretty strange audience to go for, but I guess writers really do have to find their niche and stick with it.

New Mount&Blade!

Modern PC games tend to be bereft of any startling innovation. It’s to be expected, given the large budgets now in existence – but it’s still lamentable. For truly innovative games you have to look outside the already established areas. I guess you can’t get more outsider than Mount&Blade, because not only are its creators not from the established game industry, they’re not even from the United States. Yes, Mount&Blade is actually from Turkey. The development team started off with just one dude and his wife, but now there’s a handful of other people attached, most of them also from Turks. It’s a really neat medieval RPG with an emphasis on historical veracity. The setting is in a fictional land, but the weapons and armour are all fairly accurate recreations of actual medieval items.

When you begin the game you’re plopped in as a virtual nobody in the middle of a gigantic civil war. There’s several different factions, from the pseudo-Viking Nords to the Khergit horse archers. Keep in mind, though, that it’s probably best to hold off choosing a faction until later. Depending on your choices as you create your character, you can either be the son or daughter of a minor noble, the adventurous heir of a merchant family, or an unknown adventurer. These correspond somewhat to difficulty levels, as the one from the noble family starts off with some acceptable equipment and an already established name. To get the full experience, though, I suggest you start off as a nobody. If you’re playing the game right you’ll eventually get called to the nobility anyway. You start off with very little money, so it’s best to earn some either by competing in the arena or buying up goods in one town and carting it to another to sell for a profit. It’s your basic mercantilist system, where if you buy more of an item the prices go up, and if you sell more the prices go down. Once you have enough money you can also buy some good equipment, assuming you haven’t already looted some from the enemies you’ve defeated.

It’s in battle that Mount&Blade really shines. It’s in a third person view, something like a more realistic version of the action in the Dynasty Warriors, or an expanded and actually enjoyable version of the combat in Oblivion. You can choose swords, lances, axes, bows, crossbows, and a whole host of other weapons. You can choose to be on foot or mounted, with or without a shield, with a large band under your command or a small one (or none at all), and all these different choices have their advantages and disadvantages. The violence is rather muted but blood does spurt and there’s something kind of gory about seeing an arrow sticking out somebody’s face.

The newest version is 0.890 and it adds a whole host of new features. The only downside is that there’s also a bunch of new bugs, but the development team is working on them as we speak and will probably release a newer, less-buggy version soon. You can download the game from the Mount&Blade website but the download section still only leads to a previous version. To get the latest, go to here. The downloaded game stops upgrading at level 6; you need to purchase a serial key to go beyond. I’d definitely suggest doing so since the price goes up as the game gets closer to full release, plus you can feel smug knowing you’re helping fund the development of a really cool game.

Update (Sept. 27): Versions 0.891 got released quite recently, followed quickly by 0.892. The Mount&Blade website still only has 0.808 available for download so go here if you want the latest version. I also notice that some people are coming to this page while looking for cracks for Mount&Blade – tough luck, I ain’t giving any. Although I don’t doubt that there’s cracks and CD keys available out there I still bought mine fair and square. It’s a small indie developer and the price is really quite reasonable. For only $22 you get the full unlocked version and it’s still cheaper than the $29 it will eventually cost and it’s better than most of these PC games with million dollar budgets. Really, it’s a great deal. I can understand people not wanting to buy a lemon but that’s why the trial version is available for download.

Fighting over nothing

Huh, I was gone there for a while. I wish I had an excuse but frankly, I don’t. I wasn’t overly busy or the like, I just didn’t feel like updating. To compensate, I offer up this Harper’s article by McKenzie Funk about the Northwest Passage. Well, the actual article isn’t online, it’s in the September issue of Harper’s, but the commentary by Scott Horton gives you a good idea of what it’s like.

(Incidentally, doesn’t McKenzie Funk sound like the name of the missing Canadian member of the Furious Five? As soon as someone invents a time machine and I learn to rap, I intend to go back to early 80s Brooklyn, adopt the name “McKenzie Funk” and have rap battles with the Zulu Nation. I will be billed as “the time-traveling MC.”)

Funk opens with the Canadian military’s show of strength in the North. A war game was held where a U.S. merchant vessel (it wasn’t really, of course) traveling without Canadian clearance had to be subdued. It ended up being slightly ridiculous since the outcome was predetermined, and it’s not as if a shipping vessel has any real means of fighting back. Funk even mentions that the radio operator of the “American” vessel, perhaps trying to add an air of verisimilitude, used a terrible version of what the writer calls a “California surfer accent.” The best lines to highlight the comic aspects of this are actually in the opening:

On the first full day of the sovereignty operation, the captain slowed the frigate and we took out the machine guns and sprayed the Northwest Passage with bullets. It felt pretty good. It was foggy, and the unpolluted water boiled as we polluted it with lead. There was no life we could see, and few waves. The wind was cold, the Arctic Ocean a drab green. There wasn’t any ice. But if there had been ice, we would have shot it.

In spite of how it comes off, the operation was deemed to be necessary by the Canadian government, and for good reason. The melting of the ice in the North will soon make the Passage a viable shipping lane. This route can be faster than through either the Panama canal or round the tip of South America, at least if you’re shipping from Asia to the east coast of America. Funk mentions that a shipping container sent to a northeastern port of America currently takes about $1500 to get there. If the Northwest Passage was used, it would only cost $500. This massive, two-thirds drop in price will have many shipping companies salivating. The only problem (for the Canadian government, that is) is that the US and other nations do not recognize the Northwest Passage as falling under Canadian sovereignty. Instead, they consider it to be an international strait, which definitely peeves off the Canadians something awful. Since a military blockade would be foolhardy for many, many reasons, the only real solution is diplomatic. This can be yet another problem, since American attitudes towards Canada alternate between indifferent and paternalistic. Funk writes about a trip to the policy-making centres of Washington and finding

a capital that was awakening to the security risks posed by global warming, and also awakening, perhaps, to the idea that northern riches could be ours—yet barely connecting the dots between the two. No one really seemed to think that Canada would get in our way. No one really seemed to think that it would come to blows. No one really seemed to think about Canada at all.

Canada and the U.S. aren’t the only nations arguing over the North. Russia, Norway and Denmark (recall that Greenland is Danish territory) also have claims, with the Russians probably the most visible in terms of the international media. Their recent flag-planting stunt definitely drew attention. In some ways, this is actually a good thing for Canada because it prevents it from just being a fight between it and its southern neighbour. All these countries necessitate the use of the United Nations as a mediator, which probably irks the Americans to no end. The most relevant treaty is the U.N. Convention on the Law of the Sea, which highlights just how far the sea is considered part of a country. The treaty says a nation territory extends to within 200 km of their land, though “territory” and “land” are more finely defined in the agreement. This is something of a problem for the U.S. since it never actually signed the Convention (even though it actually helped in drawing it up). After ignoring it for some 30-odd years, the U.S. is now rushing to sign. (To be accurate, Pres. Bush wants it pushed through, but the Republicans in Congress and the Senate consider it a blow against American sovereignty. Will he or won’t he get it signed before he leaves office? Stay tuned to find out.)

So what’s next in the fight over the far north? A sergeant Funk met in the operation highlighted the basic Canadian strategy. Referring to a dispute with Denmark over an insignificant island off the coast of Greenland, Sgt. Strong says, “Just set up a trailer on the island with a couple guys. Give them enough supplies for a six month stretch, then rotate them out and resupply.” (Not an exact quote, I don’t have the article in front of me.) A sustained presence, military or otherwise, is the best way to show ownership of territory. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has committed to the development of a deep-water port in the area, the ranks of reservists in the North are being expanded, and the operation Funk tagged along with is just the first of many. This means that, if you’re ever traveling in the North, don’t be surprised if you turn on your radio and hear a horrible attempt at a SoCal accent. Resist the urge to mock the speaker, as he could well be part of an operation to establish control over a currently useless stretch of sea. At the very least, lay off the moose and igloo jokes.

Bonus: A Boston NPR station has an interview with McKenzie Funk about his article. Listen to Mr. Funk talk about all this stuff while curiously refraining from laying down any mad rhymes.

Suprnova is back!

Suprnova was one of the earlier torrent aggregators out there but it got shut down by the copyright cops. Fortunately, they’ve been brought back by the friendly folks at The Pirate Bay. Best of all, Suprnova actually has a search function now – I can’t tell how hard it was to look for stuff on the old site, especially near its end (when there was a hell of a lot of listed torrents). It’s still supposed to be in beta for the next few weeks but it looks to be working okay. Welcome back, Suprnova!

In related news, Torrentspy has disallowed searches for users with U.S.-based ISPs. Justin Bunnell of Torrentspy has said it was to protect the privacy of its users; I think the MPAA lawsuit has made this an extremely prudent move. See Slyck for the details.

A child’s-eye view of the impending collapse of the U.S. economy

If you’re like me you’re probably not too familiar with the details of the U.S. sub-prime lending fiasco. All the news coverage has made you aware of the broad strokes, of course, namely that American banks (in a fit of exceptional short-sightedness and stupidity) approved loans to people who couldn’t actually pay them. But did you actually know about how the banks sold off those loans, which were then split up and sold off and split up and sold off some more, such that many more times the original value of the loan was resting on the ability of the loan’s recipient to pony up and pay it off? And now I will abandon the second person since it’s fairly obvious I only bothered to scan the headlines and thought the underlying details were too complicated. Well, the Asia Sentinel has got my back with an explanation addressed to a hypothetically interested child. Titled “It’s All Gumdrops,” it uses the sale of a gumdrop to a sticky-fingered kid to illustrate how exactly the whole thing works. The short answer is that it’s another iteration of the age-old pyramid scheme; the long answer is – well, read the dang article.

Sûreté du Québec forced to own up

A bit late, but I’ll put it up anyway: the Quebec police have admitted that the anarchist guys captured on tape were cops (see the Toronto Star for details). However, while they admit those three were indeed undercover agents, the SQ states that they were only found out because the men refused to participate in violence and that the reason one officer was carrying a rock was because a protester handed it to him. Needless to say, one only has to watch the video to know this is complete and utter bullshit. The crowd and the organizer was trying to get the police agents to leave and were trying to keep them away from the line of riot police. Hell, even Ottawa’s Chief of Police stated (before the SQ’s admission) that the conduct of the men on that video is highly suspicious. I really hope an independent inquiry is carried out because if this thing only goes to an internal review it will get quietly buried.

In honour of this event I’m introducing a new tag, “Fuck tha police;” I hope its use will be fairly self-evident. If you still think the SQ isn’t full of shit then I suggest you watch the video again.

(Incidentally, I couldn’t figure out how to type those accents in the SQ’s name and had to copy and paste it from elsewhere. This is also the reason why I keep calling them the SQ.)

This just in: Quebec police haven’t seen Serpico

So there’s talk about Quebec police planting agent provocateurs among protesters at the Montebello summit. As the above photo shows (which I swiped from the comments thread of the Torontoist article, I hope it’s okay with whoever posted it), these agents apparently never bothered to change out of their police-issue boots. This is exceedingly stupid, and reminded me of that line in the cop movie Serpico, where Al Pacino decried undercover agents who’d go to a lot of trouble getting the right clothes, haircut, and so on, but still wear the same shoes they’re handed at the station. The boots are kind of a moot point anyway – the fake protesters were quickly identified since none of the real protesters knew them but they were still trying to stir up a bunch of middle-aged people into a confrontation with the riot squad. If you ask me, this is a pretty ham-fisted approach.  They should have had agents join student protest groups like the NYPD used to do (and for all I know, still do).  Still, if you’re going to the trouble of instigating a riot among people who don’t know you then at least make sure it can’t be traced to your employer. You’d think a reasonably intelligent undercover agent would know not to wear the same gear as his “enemies” but I guess these were especially stupid police. They’re so dumb I imagine they’re already on the fast-track to lieutenant; within a year they’ll probably be heading the RCMP’s intelligence division.

Booster Gold isn’t Jewish

Who’s Booster Gold? He’s a second-string superhero who used to be part of the Justice League of America. Often written as comic relief, his gag is that he’s from the future and traveled back in time so he can be a big-shot. Booster is always coming up with get-rich or get-famous schemes that inevitably backfire. His powers include flight, some kind of beam-thingy that he shoots from his hands, and a sassy robot sidekick. (Yes, sassy robot sidekicks count as powers.) And that is pretty much the extent of my Booster Gold knowledge; I never followed the character so I hope my bare-bones summary can be forgiven. Anyway, in my blissful ignorance I had always assumed that the guy was Jewish. Why? Well, Gold – along with Goldschmidt, Goldman, Goldbach, and other Goldies – is a fairly common Jewish surname. (Which isn’t to say that non-Jews don’t have these names as well, but – in the U.S. at least – if you were to meet someone named Goldstein, chances are that person is Jewish.) If you think about it, Booster also seems like the kind of spacey, rocket-based name that people might give to their kids in the sci-fi world of the future. So, Booster Gold = futuristic Chosen Person.

My wacky misconception led to me being wildly disappointed when I found out that, not only is the guy not Jewish, Booster Gold isn’t even his real name! Nay, his birth name is actually Michael Jon Carter, which is pretty much as goy a name as possible. This brings up some fascinating thoughts about the world of the future, where a man out to promote himself would feel compelled to adopt a Jewish identity (perhaps the Learned Elders had finally succeeded?) – but no, Wikipedia tells me that Booster was just Michael Jon Carter’s college football nickname.

I think whoever created Booster really dropped the ball by making him a Gentile. Think about it: a flying Jew from the future – the stories practically write themselves! Just swipe the plots from Seinfeld and throw in some jetpacks. Maybe Booster’s parents are visiting from the future and he becomes so annoyed with them that he starts sleeping at the JLA headquarters. Or maybe Booster avoids a dinner invitation from his great-aunt Astra by citing an already-scheduled fight with Captain Boomerang, but is then spotted in a restaurant by his cousin Payload. Or how about Booster’s friend the Blue Beetle thinks Munich was terrible but doesn’t say so in public because he’s afraid of being called an anti-Semite. The only way this idea could be improved is if his sidekick was Lenny Kravitz.

So join with me in weeping at the road not taken. No matter who you are – woman or man, Gentile or Jew – we have all felt the terrible loss wrought by finding out that Booster Gold isn’t Jewish. As you read the following lyrics with tears rolling down your face, please imagine you’re watching Beaches and think of what could have been.

Memories,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? Could we?
Memories, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember…
The way we were…
The way we were…

How to download shit off the Internet, part 2

This is a continuation of my earlier post, How to download shit off the Internet, where I went over some filesharing basics and focused mainly on BitTorrent as a peer-to-peer system. Today I will deal with a couple other filesharing networks, DirectConnect and the eDonkey/eMule system, and touch briefly on IRC and newsgroups.

DirectConnect

DirectConnect is one of the older peer-to-peer systems out there. Though it gained many users when Napster was shut down, DirectConnect was on its way to irrelevance until the release of an open-source client called DC++ (open-source means they release the code out there for anyone to modify). DirectConnect servers are called “hubs”, and many hubs won’t let you connect to them without having already having a certain amount of information to share. Different hubs have different minimums, so make sure to put the necessary files in your DC++ client’s folder. There are also private, invite-only hubs but only the hard-core need go there. To be honest, I only use DirectConnect to download comics, and I only really use one hub, The ComicShack (Comicshack.no-ip.info), sponsored by the ZCult folks (whom I mentioned in the previous update). As you might have guessed from the name, The ComicShack specializes in comic books, and is largely the reason why I rarely use ZCult torrents anymore. I suspect many ZCultists have also migrated to DC++ and this is why the site is fairly quiet nowadays. Torrents are still great for downloading entire series, but if you’re only looking for one or two comics, DC++ is the way to go. Some other comics hubs are Comicopolis (comicopolis.no-ip.info:313) and The Watchtower (thewatchtower.no-ip.info:1411), both of which have a 2 GB minimum.

Some people are probably wondering where exactly they’re supposed to get 2 gigabytes of data to share. Unless you’re a dedicated scanner or ripper, you won’t have that much already on your computer. Not to worry, that’s what BitTorrent is for. Download a few things and put them in the folder you’ve designated for your DC++ client. As for which client to use, I’d recommend ApexDC++; I’ve yet to have a problem with it. Install it, specify which folder(s) you’d like to share (and don’t just share your entire hard drive, unless you want people to be able to download your tax information, letters to Penthouse, and whatever else you have in there), then connect to a public hub. There’s a large list of public hubs available if you go into View, then Public Hubs, which you can then filter to show only the hubs that specialize in whatever it is you’re looking for.

eMule/eDonkey

Ironically, the shutdown of Napster resulted in the creation of many new filesharing systems, ones that wouldn’t be as vulnerable as Shawn Fanning’s creation. Napster also attracted a lot of people to filesharing, so its many users were looking to new systems to move to after the shutdown. One of these systems was eDonkey2000. Like DirectConnect, it didn’t really take off until an open-source client was created, which in this case was called eMule. The eMule client fixes some things wrong with the original eDonkey, plus it also connects to the Kad file-sharing network. The biggest reproach of the eDonkey system is its speed (or lack thereof). This is a pretty fair criticism because downloads with this system can take many days, especially if it’s a big file. However, it is more than offset by the network’s comprehensiveness. Simply put, if you can’t find the file you’re looking for here, you’re probably not going to find it anywhere else, at least not on the Internet.

One of the more annoying things about eMule is that you have to manually update its list of servers. Although it comes with a server list when installed, over time some of those are shut down for one reason or another and many other servers come online for the first time. You can set the client to automatically update its server list when you connect to a server but it’s still a good idea to manually update it every now and then. You can manually download a list here, as well as other places on the Internet.

IRC and newsgroups

These are systems I stay out of completely, not because of any inherent dangers but because there are easier ways of getting the files I want. I should mention that I have little experience with using IRC and newsgroups for filesharing. Nonetheless, I will go over what I know for the benefit of the curious. IRC and newsgroups were around before the World Wide Web and can be considered as the original filesharing systems, though they weren’t intended as such. IRC (Internet Relay Chat) is a chat program that can double as a client for downloading stuff. You join a channel that deals with the stuff you want to download, search through the available servers, connect to them, then download. As for newsgroups, they’re much like the webforums of today, though in an earlier, text-only form. Uploaders split up their files into smaller chunks which are then converted into letters, numbers, and other characters – these converted files are called binaries and are then posted to the appropriate newsgroup (e.g. alt.binaries.dvds). Downloaders then take these binaries and convert them back into the original. Both IRC and newsgroups can be trying to use but many rippers still upload through these channels; the files then filter through to other filesharing systems. If you ask me it’s not really worth the hassle, but if anyone reading this wants to learn more they can use the Slyck guides on IRC and newsgroups as a primer.

I hope you readers enjoyed this short romp through the world of filesharing. Keep in mind that what I’ve written is not meant to be comprehensive. There are other networks and client out there, though I think I’ve touched on the major ones. Also keep in mind that the filesharing world is always changing – networks get sued shut, new ones are created, and there are a lot of different clients getting updated and abandoned every month. Think of what I’ve written as more of a snapshot, the state of filesharing networks as of mid-August 2007. While it’s impossible to tell the future, I think that, based on current conditions, the world of filesharing is safe and there are many new innovations on the horizon. Happy downloading, and don’t forget to use your virus scan.

How to download shit off the Internet, part 1

I’m writing this to help those who have heard of the endless downloading opportunities out there but have not yet figured out how to do it or are too afraid to get started on their own. I should start off by saying that the first priority for downloaders is a decent virus protection program. In this day and age you really can’t use an unprotected online computer anymore, especially if you’re using it to download stuff. Buy it if you have to, but get one. My only recommendation is to stay away from Symantec since it hogs a lot of memory and can noticeably slow down your computer. Avast! is the one I use; it has a fairly small memory footprint and it’s free.

With that out the way, let’s get on with the programs. First off is BitTorrent. You may have heard of it already as it’s the most popular method out there. BitTorrent is actually a protocol, a way of transferring information over the Internet. There are many programs out there that use the BitTorrent protocol and it can be difficult deciding which one is best. Me, I just went to Slyck and looked at the BitTorrent section. Slyck has a lot of file-sharing info available and I use it to find out what’s new in the world of downloading. This is where I discovered µTorrent (pronounced “mu torrent” – that u with a line in front is the Greek letter mu). I used to use BitComet, and, while there’s nothing wrong with it, µTorrent uses up less memory, which makes it easier to use your computer for other stuff while downloading.

Before I continue, let me go on a bit about how BitTorrent works. Each file on the network is split up into many different sections. When you use the BitTorrent protocol, your computer connects to a central server called a tracker. It keeps track of the people who are downloading a particular file and however many sections each person has. Those who have the complete file are called “seeders” or “feeders”, while those who have an incomplete one are called “peers” or “leechers”. Seeders upload to peers, but peers can also upload to each other since they can have different sections of that particular file. After completing the download, a leecher becomes a seeder. It’s generally considered polite to seed to at least a 1:1 ratio though it’s not always possible (especially if the file is not too popular). Over time, the number of seeds slowly drops until eventually there are none and the torrent is dead (though it can be re-seeded by someone with a complete file). The life of a torrent varies according to how popular the file is. Generally speaking the more popular the torrent, the longer the torrent lasts.

After you’ve installed your client, you may have noticed that you can’t actually use it to look for stuff. What you have to do is look for websites that list torrent files for download. They usually have their own trackers and many cater to a particular type or style of media, such as Chinese movies or old TV shows. There are also more omnivorous sites out there – the most popular right now is Mininova. Unfortunately, it presently appears to be having technical difficulties so check back tomorrow. The Pirate Bay is one of the oldest sites of its kind and their tracker is widely used. Torrentspy is a decent enough site; my favourite part about it is the well-used comment section. A lot of times it descends into typical Internet garbage but at least they tell you if the file is screwed up or not. Careful or nervous types should note that Torrentspy is currently being sued by the MPAA; make of that what you will.

Among specialty sites, membership is usually a necessity. They like to keep track of their members’ upload ratios and make sure they stick to a decent rate. I only really visit two of this kind, though there are of course many more out there. ZCult deals with comic books and has a well-established forum. After you join you may have to post for a bit before you can see the trackers; it’s been a while since I signed up. ZCult isn’t as active as it used to be – I suspect many users have migrated to DC++, another file-sharing program (which I’ll get into some other time). There’s still comic book torrents being uploaded so I check it every now and then.

The other specialty site I use is MVGroup, which disseminates documentaries. There are many documentaries on here, dealing with a wide variety of subjects. There’s WW2 docs, docs from the BBC and National Geographic, docs about the Middle East, science, religion, etc. They don’t just list docs on their tracker, though, as the forum also includes a section for those uploaded to other trackers. If you’re looking for a documentary, this is the place to go.

One final caveat: when downloading files, be careful of those with an .exe extension (e.g. program.exe, or stuff.exe). Some people write viruses into these then upload them to trackers as harrypottermovie.exe (or something of that kind) to dupe people into running them. I’m not going to tell you not to download them since I occasionally do it myself, but don’t forget to use your virus scan and use common sense – there’s no reason a Harry Potter movie needs to be an executable and you can probably find another torrent on the same site anyway.

And on that note, I will have to end this. I was thinking about going on about other file-sharing programs but it’ll have to wait for another day. Happy downloading.

Part 2